MIL=Mother in law

Yep, I acquired a new role in the past couple of years. I am a sister, wife, mother, and now a mother in law. My two oldest kids are married and I am a proud mother in law to my son in law and daughter in law.  This is another part of life where there is no manual or instructions. What is a MIL to do?

Just like when my first child was born I had all sorts of crazy ideas about how I was going to raise MY child. Foolishly I proclaimed,"My child will never watch TV, not even Sesame Street.” I was so naive.  Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers saved my sanity most afternoons as my kids were preschoolers.

Well, I had similar naive ideas about being a mother in law.  Initially, I thought it was just like adopting two more kids.  I thought my 3 kid family turned into a 5 kid family. Well. . . it had but not exactly. My new in law kids were all grown up and had a mommy and daddy already.  So the mom hat didn’t fit.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned my MIL job. It’s really simple.  I love and give unconditional acceptance to my in-law kids.  They are wonderful and special.  They love and are devoted to my young’ins. I cherish them. They have enriched the Bell/Sailstad clan in so many ways. Thanks Katie and Josh.

I came across this article,What Makes a Good MIL?  It’s a primer for the learning the ropes as a mother in law. Enjoy!

How Many Friends Can We Really Have?

According to "Dunbar's Number," human beings can maintain a network of only about 150 close friends.  Robin Dunbar is a professor of evolutionary anthropology at the University of Oxford. 


Dr. Dunbar tells how a company with 150 employees remains a close knit group that is more productive and a better place to work than a company with more employees. This research substantiates 'bigger is not better.'


I first noticed our culture's trend to 'largeness' when the mega-schools arrived in the 1990's. My kids were in elementary school then. They did not have cohort of friends from one school year to the next because there were 8-10 other classes at each grade level. The feeling of the school was  anonymity.  Dr. Dunbar’s work speaks of our human need to be know in a community, a community that is of no more than 150 people 
NPR's Rachel Martin interviews the professor and the interview can be found here.